Funny Things to Say to Someone Who Just Had a Vasectomy

Lighten The Mood With A Humorous Vasectomy Card

If you have someone in your life who is either going to accept a vasectomy or is recovering from i, y'all know that they're going through a stressful, constituent, medical event. A not bad fashion to cheer upwards your friend, family fellow member, or coworker is with funny vasectomy quotes to get him through the procedure.

Keep reading for funny vasectomy sayings, puns, and ane-liners that you lot can use in a card to prove your support earlier the procedure, or during the recovery stage.

surgeon holding a scissors & making funny face

Funny Vasectomy Sayings

  • Did you hear nigh the new funny vasectomy doctor in town? His name is Howie Snippet- if you're done having babies, he'll fix it!
  • To my brother-in-law after my vasectomy: at that place is now a "vast" difference between us, despite our similarities.
  • When you tell the doctor that your family voted 17 to 1 in favor of your vasectomy, he isn't going to argue against information technology.
  • How can you tell the difference between a man who's had a vasectomy and one that hasn't? You can't, and then stop worrying about information technology.
  • After your vasectomy, you'll be playing it cool for at to the lowest degree a week- by which I mean, y'all'll have an ice pack on your groin.
  • Wishing you a speedy recovery from your vasectomy; I know that yous asked them to add a few inches, so don't exist disappointed when you realize that's not how it works.
  • Someone told me yous are getting fixed- I thought that meant you were seeing a psychiatrist, but a vasectomy is simply as necessary.
  • Congratulations on your successful vasectomy! I promise your doctor had a steadier hand than your hairdresser.

Man hearing news about vasectomy on telephone

Funny Vasectomy Sayings To Give Him A Giggle

  • If you schedule your vasectomy for October 31st, the doctor volition give you the "Hollow-weenie" disbelieve!
  • Are you lot worried about the vasectomy affecting your sexual performance? Your married woman told me information technology can't go any worse.
  • When yous told your wife you were getting a vasectomy, did she think you were just kidding? Well, you can't anymore!

After doing One Fine Twenty-four hours and playing a pediatrician on ER, I'll never have kids. I'm going to have a vasectomy.

  • While recovering from the process and reading over the funny vasectomy one liners from friends, remember that the existent joke is on them; after all, you're the ane laying on a couch with a bag of water ice while they're at work.
  • I don't retrieve information technology'due south funny that you had a vasectomy; all the same, it's hilarious that you lot idea you'd run a marathon the next day!

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  • Funny vasectomy sayings are few and far between for a reason: most guys don't want to have one. Congrats on taking 1 for the squad!
  • Did you hear about the medico who botched a vasectomy? He missed and got the sack- make certain y'all give everything a expect over before you're discharged!
  • What does a king call a vasectomy? An stop to making heirs. Hope your process goes royally well.
  • What exercise a Christmas tree and a vasectomy accept in common? The assurance are just ornamental, although important to the overall aesthetic.
  • When the first vasectomy was performed, it really got the ball rolling- as a consequence, doctors today are totally on the ball!

Funny Vasectomy Gift Ideas

Vasectomy Wishes To Lighten The Mood

  • Now that you've had a vasectomy, you can have all the marital pleasure without protection that you want- once yous've recovered, that is!
  • Just because your balls are just in that location for looks doesn't make y'all less of a man; however, you accept 1 less functional use.
  • You may be out of bullets, but you tin can nevertheless aim that thing; therefore, get ready for some other shootout, cowboy!
  • Your new motto: snipped but still equipped.
  • Snip, snip, hooray! Congrats on your successful vasectomy procedure.

Vasectomy Memes That Will Give Him A Express joy

  • Get ready for everyone to call yous Snowfall Ball, considering you're going to have water ice on your groin for a while afterward your vasectomy.
  • What practise you lot call a  vasectomy performed by a Mexican doctor? A dry Martinez. Requite Dr. Sanchez my regards, and bring an olive when you go for the operation.
  • Vasectomy or no vasectomy, you're withal one-half a man at best; therefore, you've got cipher to lose!

kitten looking shocked on a couch

  • I'grand sure you'll exist fine after your vasectomy every bit long every bit you don't try to "make sure it works" right afterwards; try to just listen to your physician'due south postal service-op advice.
  • Shooting blanks is okay- activeness movie stars practise that all the time! Good luck with your recovery after the vasectomy.

When I said that I wanted to have kids, and you lot said y'all wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? Y'all have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies tin can have on a person!

  • You may be shooting blanks but y'all all the same take perfect aim, so with a vasectomy you're still the aforementioned!
  • I hope everything still works "down there"- good luck recovering from your vasectomy.
  • All juice and no seeds- you lot could say that your vasectomy has made you more digestible!

woman pretending to be a nurse

  • I'm glad your vasectomy went well, but distressing about the recovery soreness- want me to kiss it better? You should probably only ice it, however.
  • Yous had to pay for your vasectomy, but look on the bright side: you're about to save a fortune on condoms!

Messages To Cheer Him Up

  • I'm so glad that you're ever there for me- thank you for getting a vasectomy.
  • I demand you, now and forever. While y'all recover from the procedure, I'll be there with ice and aspirin.
  • You've changed my life for the better- thank you for changing yours. Good luck with your vasectomy.
  • I would exercise annihilation for y'all, and your vasectomy proves that y'all'd practise the same.
  • Yous're a wonderful, amazing, and ane-of-a-kind guy, and I'll make certain y'all have a special time relaxing during your recovery.

Illustration of man in pain after vasectomy

  • Meeting you was the most important thing that happened in my life- you'll shortly be recovering from your vasectomy with the assist of your Nurse Wife.
  • Thank you for beingness who you are- your vasectomy won't change that!
  • I dearest it when you lot grinning, and knowing that you got a vasectomy for me keeps me smiling. Remainder well.
  • Y'all are the best approval in my life- thanks for getting that procedure for your married woman.
  • When I'm lost, you help me notice my way; when you're recovering, I'll bring yous water ice all day.

Funny Vasectomy Quotes For Him

With my physician, I don't go no respect. I told him I desire a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need ane.

A man had his vasectomy done at Sears. At present when he makes beloved, the garage door goes up.

Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.

Vasectomy means never having to say you're distressing.

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, yous will have some thought of what popular Turkish music is like.

I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.

Last time I trusted you, I woke up without my balls.

Funny Vasectomy Quotes To Get Him Through The Proceedure

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Source: https://thewritegreeting.com/funny-vasectomy-quotes/

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